third trimester – The Honest Mom

Our Must-Have Baby Items for Surviving the First Six Months

November 14, 2019November 14, 2019Leave a comment

When I was pregnant, I scoured the internet for all the “must-have” baby products. I followed mom forums and asked all my mom friends what I needed to register for or purchase! Ultimately, it got pretty overwhelming and I ended up with a huge amount of baby stuff in a not so huge house.

Now that my little one is 8 months old, I’m starting to put away and purge some items Emmett has outgrown or no longer uses. I look at all this stuff like a staple in my home now, but know it wasn’t always that way. So I figured I’d do a round up for any expecting parents who might be interested on what worked in our house and what we could have skipped.

I’m going to go beyond the obvious car seat, stroller, high chair, crib… All these items have paid for themselves already. (I linked the ones we use in case you’re interested, and we’ve been happy with them overall!)

ITEMS THAT WE COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT (I mean, we could have, but these made life a whole lot easier)

White Noise Machine: Hatch Baby Rest Sound Machine – We’ve been blasting this white noise machine + nightlight since night one. You can control it from your phone so you don’t have to sneak in and disturb a sleeping baby if you need to adjust it. It plays a ton of different sounds, has many different nightlight color options and honestly, just get it.
I asked 5 of my friends what their must-have baby item was, and this was in the top 3 for all. Honestly, I want one for my room too. AND on the topic on noise machines, get a portable one for on the go. We have this one and it works great. Perfect for drowning out the sound of a waitress dropping a glass just as your baby falls asleep when you’re out to dinner. TRUSTTTT.

Owlet Smart Sock: Okay, this item was a major splurge, and at first I really didn’t like it. Because he was waking up ever 2 hours and sleeping 1 foot from my face in a bedside bassinet, (we had this bassinet that we got secondhand, but honestly we moved him to his crib after 3 weeks and wish I would have moved him sooner) so what was the point? I’d also forget to put it on before I put his footie pajamas on and I wasn’t going to get him undressed to put it on after the fact. But once he was in his crib, sleeping long stretches and I remembered to put it on right after his evening bath, this thing became my best friend, especially after some health scares. You can’t put a price tag on peace of mind, and being able to check my baby’s vitals easily (without hovering over him to see if his chest is rising and falling) was/still is priceless to me. We also have the Owlet Cam which we also love, but it was brand new to market when we got it, so there have been some glitches to work through. (They have great customer service!)

Zip Up Swaddles – Love to Dream Swaddle Up – I’ll admit I spent a lot of money on swaddles that we barely used, until we found this one. Emmett preferred to sleep with his hands up and would bust out of every other kind of swaddle, so this one was a total game changer! GAME. CHANGER. Plus, it’s cute and made him look like a flying squirrel. There is also a transitional one for when they’re ready to have their arms free, which made the transition to a sleep sack so much easier. You can find the transitional one here.

BURP CLOTHS– ALL THE BURP CLOTHS – DONT GET CUTE ONES. GET ABSORBENT ONES… Like these. Even if you don’t have a baby with reflux, babies are still messy and drool a lot. Just get a pack.

Bottle warmer: Philips Avent Fast Bottle Warmer – obviously, if you are solely breastfeeding, this won’t be necessary, but we were a pumping, bottle-feeding family pretty much from the start, and this was a necessary item for our family. (Used 8x a day for the first 4+ months) Even when we switched to formula, we had a special formula with mix-ins that we always prepped ahead of time. We pre-made bottles and stored them in the fridge for the day, and popped them in this thing to warm them up quickly and safely.

Play Gym Activity Center– This seems silly, because it’s just a mat with some dangly things, but we’re on month 8 and Em is STILL using this. We have this one by skip hop and he love, love, loves it! Plus the toys can come off and they can play with those as they get older.

Bouncer Seat– I’d like to promote the Rock ‘n Play as it was the only thing my child would sleep in the first few weeks, but it has been recalled so I will move on to the next best thing, a bouncer seat. We had this one by Ingenuity and at nearly 8 months are still using it. Bouncers (as opposed to a swing which is huge and my child hated) have a small footprint, don’t require an outlet and are portable. A lot of babies have some level of reflux and need to be propped up to help keep them from spitting up, so a safe space to place babe other than your tired arms is such a mom essential. You can also strap them in to the seat and bring them into the bathroom with you so you can take a shower. Besides, who doesn’t love showering with a tiny cute audience?

Zip Up Jammies– do yourself a favor, skip the snaps. No one wants to deal with lining up snaps in the dark at 2 am. We love the jammies from Carters. They fit him the best and wash well! These are also a great gift, because you can never have enough. Get all sizes, they grow so quickly! But be sure to keep the seasons in mind—fleece generally is not necessary in August.

Moms on Call Books– I did a post all about how this book helped get Emmett sleeping. I won’t go into detail, but they are a great resource regardless on your view on schedules and sleep training. Great gift idea too!

Diaper Rash Cream– This seems like a given, but it was one of the things I didn’t have stocked in the nursery. Newborns have super sensitive skin, and they also poop a lot. BAD COMBO. Grab a few tubes for the nursery before baby is born, so you don’t have to panic at 3am and send your sleepy spouse to CVS when your week old baby looks like they just sat on lava rocks (seriously, it’s terrifying and heartbreaking how bad diaper rash can get). We use A&D daily and Desitin when a rash flairs up.

Boon Drying Rack – A clean, designated place to dry baby’s bottles, baby bowls, pacifiers, etc. A tiny life hack, just get one. Plus there is a cute travel one too!

Blackout Curtains in the nursery or wherever the baby is sleeping– When baby sleeps, you sleep, and all is right in the world. Be like NIKE and Just Do It.

GIANT WATER CUP WITH A GIANT ASS STRAW– This was something I Amazon primed for myself about 5 days postpartum at 3 in the morning and still use every day. I ordered this cup with these ridiculous 15″ straws. When you have a newborn, you won’t have free hands or free time to refill your water, and probably won’t have free hands to pick it up and drink from it either. And you’re going to be thirsty AF. Get a giant straw and a cup that won’t need as many refills. I will honestly gift these to all my pregnant friends from here on out.

Things we probably could have lived without.

Honestly, we’ve used everything we got for baby! Even the list below… We got A LOT of stuff, but if I had to make a list of things we could have skipped, this is what I’d say:

Baby Swing – We had this one, every baby is different, but Emmett never loved it. We had high hopes for this item and it was one of the first things we registered for! But it’s big and we definitely didn’t use it as much as the bouncer.

SnuggleMe Lounger– I don’t know why I felt like I HAD TO HAVE this thing. I did so much research and heard so many great things about this and the Dock-a-Tot, but went for the SnuggleMe because it looked cozier for a new baby. (It’s supposed to mimic the feeling of being held) We used it a few times, but it definitely did not get it’s money’s worth.

Boppy Breastfeeding Pillow – My breastfeeding journey didn’t last long, but for the few weeks I did breastfeed, I found a regular pillow from my bed was a lot more comfortable and stayed in place better. However, now that he’s older, we brought it back out for him to lounge on and help him sit up!

Bottle Sterilizer and dryer– So, I did use this a lot, and still do because I have it and got it as a gift, but if I wanted to save money, I definitely don’t think this is a necessity. I feel like running bottles through the dishwasher with “sterilize” works fine and doesn’t take up counter space. You can also just just boil the bottles to sterilize. I felt like washing his bottles well with hot water and soap has sufficed most often.

All the breastfeeding tops, bras, etc…. I wish I would have waited to buy all these things as the whole breastfeeding thing didn’t work out for us. I’m not saying they’re not worth it, I’m just saying make sure you tackle breastfeeding before spending the money! Besides, I spent those weeks topless or in a robe anyway.

At the end of the day, a baby doesn’t NEED much. They need to be fed, snuggled, changed and loved. However, a lot of the gadgets on the market these days sure make parenting a heck of lot easier. I hope this list was helpful, and if you have any questions, feel free to drop a comment!

Preeclampsia, a get to the hospital now story

July 7, 2019July 7, 20192 Comments

As I have mentioned in previous posts, the last few weeks of pregnancy were not fun for me. I was wildly uncomfortable and full of anxious nerves. Each day seemed to last a week and I felt like I was trapped in my own body with symptoms getting more uncomfortable by the day. And to my poor husband, I apologize. I know I was not pleasant to be around.

Around week 36 of my pregnancy, I started having what I called “vision spells,” where out of nowhere I would start seeing stars or “auras” and lose almost all vision in one eye and only be able to see out of my peripheral in the other. It would last about 20-30 minutes and then dissipate. The first time it happened, we were at the Olive Garden—leave me alone, I had a craving for breadsticks—and I couldn’t read the menu. I was trying not to freak out and cause a scene amongst the crowd enjoying their unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks, but I was truly frightened.

Visual disturbances are a symptom of preeclampsia—a serious pregnancy complication that affects roughly 5% of pregnancies, that is often characterized by high blood pressure and protein in the urine, that if left untreated can lead to very serious and even fatal complications to both mom and baby. Other symptoms of preeclampsia include swelling, headache, nausea and shortness of breath, which to be honest are all symptoms of a normal pregnancy too, so don’t freak out mamas. When I saw my doctor for my 36-week checkup, I talked to her about the scary visual disturbance that had happened, and just as I began to talk about it, it happened again. Right there in her office… I mean, that never happens! (You know… Like when you’re driving around for months with a check engine light on, but as you pull into the dealership it turns off?) I started crying—the usual at that point in pregnancy—but honestly, I was really freaked out. I mean, I was having temporary bouts of blindness, that’s scary AF.

I did not have high blood pressure or protein in my urine to indicate preeclampsia, so they sent me to the lab to see if there was anything else going on with my bloodwork that could make sense of the vision spells I was having. The bloodwork showed that my blood platelets were low. They weren’t low enough to worry at that point, but they wanted to check again in a few days to monitor. Blood platelets are what helps blood in the body clot, which is very important during childbirth, because, well, there is so. much. blood. during childbirth. I had bloodwork done 2 more times before my 37-week appointment and continued to have the visual disturbances off and on every day or so. I had also stopped driving at that point because the visual issues happened randomly and without warning.

On the morning of my 37-week checkup, I still had no typical signs of preeclampsia (high BP + protein in urine) but my doctor ordered a rush panel as my platelets had continued to drop over that week, and she wanted to test one more time. She explained to me that she would call as soon as the panels came back, but if my blood platelets had dropped again, it would be cause for induction.

Now, as much as I did not want to be pregnant anymore, this was frightening. Pregnancy is considered full term at 37 weeks, but I did not see this one coming. I was sure I’d be an overdue mama. I called my husband at work and told him what had transpired at the appointment, but told him not to worry, and that I was pretty sure if I were to get induced, it would probably be scheduled for later in the week. When the doctor called a few hours later, she informed me that she didn’t like what she was seeing, that my platelets had continued to drop, and now my liver levels were elevated as well. She then said she felt it was time to end the pregnancy.

Wait. What?

The phrase “end the pregnancy” hit me like a ton of bricks, well, it was more like I ran into a brick wall and got slapped into reality real quick.

With a shaky voice, I asked, “Okay, when?”

Her response, “Now. I’ve already sent your charts over and spoken to the doctor on call. They’re waiting for you. You’ll be induced tonight. You’re in good hands.”

Even though she delivered that news calmly and in the most reassuring way, it left me trembling.

She explained that although I don’t have the typical symptoms of preeclampsia, sometimes it presents itself in strange ways. She classified it as “atypical preeclampsia” which is typical of me to get a rare pregnancy complication and then make it even more rare by not even getting the standard, run-of-the mill preeclampsia.

Suddenly, I wasn’t allowed to whine about being uncomfortable and pregnant anymore. My placenta previa-turned low-lying placenta seemed like the most minor of issues, even though just a month or so prior it had me very worried. If I would have known this would have transpired the night before, I might have laid off the theatrics of sobbing for an hour after I realized I had lost a button to my duvet cover. (Pregnancy hormones and nerves will really make ya loco, y’all). But I felt guilty. Like I had somehow willed the universe into giving me a scary complication so that I could have the baby sooner, and now we were both at risk. It was a real “be careful what you wish for” moment for me.

I had now been slapped with a scary diagnosis and it was go-time, I didn’t have too much time to think about it honestly. I called my husband and let him know he needed to get home ASAP. Luckily, we had packed our hospital bags two weeks prior so we were ready to go, but we hadn’t put the car seat in yet as it had been snowing non-stop. He rushed home, and with the help of YouTube got the car seat installed, grabbed our bags and we headed to the hospital. We began calling and texting friends and family to let them know what was going on and shortly after we arrived, we were admitted. To be honest, even though I was shaking violently, I was oddly calm. I knew I had a job to do, and that the best treatment for preeclampsia was delivery of the baby. I knew we were in good hands and we were going to meet our little boy soon. This wasn’t at all how I had expected things to go, but pregnancy is weird like that. It was very surreal that what had started as a routine 37-week prenatal appointment landed me in the hospital, but there we were.

As I got changed into what would be the backless gown I’d wear for the next three days, I couldn’t help but notice my husband pacing around the room. We were going to be parents soon. This was it. This was how our story started and how my pregnancy ended. No dramatic water breaking in public, rush to the hospital story. No middle of the night “I think I’m in labor” moment. My labor would be started artificially, here in this room, by a doctor I was about to get to know very well.

I watched the monitor that was tracking the baby’s heartbeat as I waited for the doctor to come and begin the induction. I listened to the beeping of the machine and looked away winching as the nurse placed the IV in my arm. My phone buzzed with text after text, call after call from family and friends sending their “you got this” messages and well wishes. When the doctor walked in with a full cart of medical devices, I knew this would be the moment that started it all, my life was about to change forever.

Why The Last Month of Pregnancy is Brutal AF

June 28, 2019June 28, 20191 Comment

Hooray! You’ve made it to the third trimester. At the beginning of trimester 3, around week 27, You’re more than halfway through baking that little bun in your oven. You’re probably feeling pregnant, but excited. Your bump is on display. You’re amazed how the baby is growing and look forward to checking your baby tracker app each week to see what fruit your baby has grown into. You’re working on the nursery. Nesting is in full swing. You’re excited for your baby shower and if you found out, you know the gender of your little one by now! You may feel even more confident that this is really happening and overall, unless you have had a difficult pregnancy with complications, you’re probably feeling pretty good.

As you enter the 9^thmonth of pregnancy (PS- 40 WEEKS IS LONGER THAN NINE MONTHS, DO THE FREAKIN’ MATH PEOPLE) you feel rested, excited, never felt better right? WRONG! So, so wrong. I am speaking from personal experience here, so please just stop reading if you were one of those mythical creatures who just felt like a magical pregnancy fairy floating through your ninth month of pregnancy farting glitter that cleans itself up. Because the only mythical creature I felt like during those final weeks was a fat, fire-breathing dragon.

Every month lasts about 30 days, except your final month of pregnancy, that month lasts 985 years, or at least it feels like it. The waiting game is the most brutal of all. I don’t think I’m alone here when I say by month nine, I was OVER IT. I just so happened to be pregnant through the dead of winter in New England. My coats didn’t fit. Trying to squeeze my wide load into layers of clothing was like running a triathlon. My gigantic belly made me so unsteady on my feet that I was afraid to go outside for the fear of slipping on ice. I became a hermit that lived in flannel pajamas. My hip hurt so badly I’d shriek like a puppy who’s tail just got stepped on with almost every step. My husband had to help pry me out of bed 15x a night so I could get up to pee. I couldn’t breathe and I had to sleep upright or else my throat might have caught on fire due to horrendous heartburn—just another reason why I felt like a fire-breathing dragon. Every time I looked in the mirror my body looked more and more like an orangutan. Everyone and everything annoyed me. And don’t even get me started with the hemorrhoids. My doctor confirmed I had hemorrhoids—yes, I made her take her headlamp down there and confirm, these were new to me and I wanted to make sure they were normal. She confirmed they were an unfortunate but totally normal symptom of late pregnancy (so. much. pressure. down. there) but lucky for me, they didn’t seem “too angry.” Um…to the pregnant ladies with the “angry version” of hemorrhoids, I commend you. TMI? Not on this blog.

To prove that I’m not alone, I asked some friends who have been through it to tell me how they really felt when they were in their last month of pregnancy, and their answers did not disappoint:

“I felt like a manatee. I was always thirsty and searching for an air return to cool off my vagina which was so puffy and swollen it looked like a sea urchin. I basically was an aquatic sea witch in heat. Also, I sat on anything cold from the freezer. Sorry honey, can’t eat those peas, I sat on them” – Anonymous Friend 1

“No matter how thankful I was to be pregnant, the end was rough. Imagine trying to prep for baby knowing everyone in the room is going to see your va jay jay so you try to shave but can’t see down there. I felt like I was carrying around an 8 lb Butterball Turkey pressing on my bladder. But THE WORST though, was they say to rest before baby comes but trying to sleep was awful. Baby was pressing on my nerves and my hips and thighs would go numb. I would toss and turn all night because if it. Plus pelvic floor? What pelvic floor? Better have that panty liner in. Fun times.” – Anonymous Friend 2

“I felt like a beached whale. Do beached whales cry a lot?” – Anonymous Friend 3.

On top of all the physical ailments that tend to plague women in their final month of pregnancy, the one thing that was most bothersome to me was the anxiety and nerves. This was my first pregnancy and therefore my first labor & delivery and I was terrified. Terrified of the unknown, terrified of when and where I’d go into labor, terrified of how delivery would go and if I would get the epidural in time—because YES CHERYL I PLAN TO GET AN EPIDURAL , NOT LIKE IT’S ANY OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS HOW I BIRTH MY CHILD. (See reference to everyone and everything annoying me, above.) I also had an irrational fear of going past my due date, because I was just so uncomfortable and anxious, the thought of crossing my due date off my calendar and moving to the next seemed like some messed up kind of torture.

When bi-weekly check-ups with my doctor turned into weekly around week 36 and my doctor began checking me for any signs of labor, I weeped when she told me no. She handed me a tissue and said “all babies come out, one way or another.” Not really what I wanted to hear, but she was right.

Now that I’m on the other side of pregnancy and type this as my baby naps outside of my body, I still remember very clearly how much those last few weeks sucked. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. But I do know that motherhood really is a sacrifice in so many ways, and pregnancy is just part of the journey. As crazy as it sounds, I thought people were insane when they told me I’d miss it, but I kind of do. Feeling those little kicks—even if they were straight to the bladder—is a feeling that you truly can’t explain and I guess it is kind of magical in a glitter fairy kind of way. So, to those mamas out there in their final month of pregnancy, you got this! Soak up the last weeks of those baby kicks, because your little one will be here soon and it will have been worth it, promise.